Torpedo Batter, Cauliflower Butter, and a refreshing Bitter ⚾️

Welcome to Secret Breakfast / The best place to start your day by dusting flour on the floor, adding vegan butter to the batter, and sprinkling glitter into your next bitter

Hi there!

We may remember this time of inflation as when The Wall Street Journal recommended skipping breakfast to save money.

Or when we reckoned that a cashless society could be why fewer kids are eating coins.

You know what? Forget about that, and make better memories this week!

Piero

Picture: Bangkok, Thailand. Saifah, a Thai ridgeback from a canine rescue unit, used in search and rescue operations at the site of a building collapse after the Myanmar earthquake (UN Donations). ©Chanakarn Laosarakham/AFP/Getty Images

✹Aimee Nezhukumatathil is great poetry for our senses. The book you want is Bite by Bite. If you're curious about flour on the floor, there's a Reddit thread about that and occultism.

My favorite F word... are two

If you're like me, you're completely seduced by this title. Nicole Rucker, chef/owner of Los Angeles's Fat + Flour, is now a revelation in home baking. With this book, she empowers home bakers with accessible techniques, notably the "Cold Butter Method", a vintage “reverse creaming method” wherein butter is mixed directly into the dry ingredients before other liquids. This book is a treasure trove of diverse recipes, including multiple variations of beloved classics like chocolate chip cookies, brownies, apple pies, and banana breads.

Fat + Flour. The Art of a Simple Bake: A Cookbook by Nicole Rucker
→ Shortplot: 🍪 🥧 🥖 🥮

It's all about the Batter, then

These days, baseball is all about the "torpedo bat" a customized bat named for its torpedo-like shape. It's helping players hit more home runs and improve their performance

Then I read a Fox Sports feature: ‘It’s about the batter not the bat’. And I thought: "Batter!". Eggs, flour, milk. That's my kind of batter!

Does a Torpedo Batter even exist in cooking? It does not, therefore I asked the AI (I used Claude) to invent it. Here you go.

I'm testing that next weekend.

Ultimate Torpedo Batter 🥣

Dry Base

• 1½ cups rice flour (for ultimate crispiness)
• ½ cup cornstarch (creates perfect seal)
• 2 tbsp tapioca starch (for elasticity)
• 1 tsp baking powder (controlled rise)
• ½ tsp baking soda (activation catalyst)
• ½ tsp salt (flavor enhancer)

Wet Components

• 1 cup chilled sparkling water (creates micro-bubbles)
• 1 egg white, whipped to soft peaks (structure stabilizer)
• 2 tbsp vodka (evaporates quickly, preventing sogginess)
• 1 tbsp corn oil (prevents sticking)

Secret Enhancers

• 1 tsp lecithin (natural emulsifier)
• ½ tsp xanthan gum (ultimate binding agent)
• 1 tbsp powdered egg whites (protein reinforcement)
• Pinch of cream of tartar (stabilizes structure)

Preparation

1. Place mixing bowl and whisk in freezer 10 minutes before starting.
2. Sift all dry ingredients together twice to ensure even distribution.
3. Keep wet ingredients refrigerated until the last moment.
4. Two-stage mixing:
   • Create a well in dry ingredients
   • Slowly add sparkling water while whisking from center outward
   • Let rest 5 minutes (allows starches to hydrate)
   • Fold in whipped egg white as final step
5. Cover and rest 15-30 minutes in refrigerator.

Usage Tips

• For pancakes: Batter should pour like heavy cream. Cook on medium heat until bubbles form and edges set (approximately 2-3 minutes), then flip once.
• For frying: Dip food when batter is cold. Fry immediately in oil at 350-375°F (175-190°C).
• Perfect crust indicator: Batter will change from pale yellow to golden amber when perfectly cooked.
• Shelf stability: Batter will maintain optimal properties for up to 2 hours after preparation.

The Science Behind the Magic

• The combination of multiple starches creates a multi-stage setting process
• Vodka evaporates faster than water, creating instant crispness
• Lecithin molecules bind water and oil, preventing separation
• Whipped egg white creates a microscopic matrix that traps air
• Sparkling water's carbonation creates additional lift and lightness

Emilie Pullar on Instagram: “This is MAGIC! If you have never tried whipped brown butter then save this and make asap! All you need is a stick of butter (or however much you like), two bowls and some ice. It’s SO easy. Melt the butter in a saucepan over a medium heat until the solids turn brown and it smells nutty. Pour into a mixing bowl which is inside another one with ice and then get whisking! It changes really quickly and you mustn’t over whip it as it can solidify. Take it to a very soft whipped cream consistency then stop. Enjoy! #butter #brownbutter #foodporn #sourdough #bread #foodphotography #dinnerideas #food”

15K likes, 106 comments - burntbuttertable on March 17, 2025: “This is MAGIC! If you have never tried whipped brown butter then save this and make asap! All you need is a stick of butter (or however much you like), two bowls and some ice. It’s SO easy. Melt the butter in a saucepan over a medium heat until the solids turn brown and it smells nutty. Pour into a mixing bowl which is inside another one with ice and then get whisking! It changes really quickly and you mustn’t over whip it as it can solidify. Take it to a very soft whipped cream consistency then stop. Enjoy! #butter #brownbutter #foodporn #sourdough #bread #foodphotography #dinnerideas #food”.

Instagram

🍗Gentleman, I'm Pleased to Inform You, That the Brightest Minds of Our Generation Made a Kentucky Fried Chicken Toothpaste 🍸The 15 Bitter Cocktails Matrix (★recipe) 🧈Homemade Cauliflower Vegan Butter (★recipe) 🥒Spicy Korean Pickles! (★recipe) 🦐If You Have a Date and You're Crazy Enogh to Go with Shrimps, This One is Great (★recipe) 🥮Salted Caramel Babka (★recipe) 🥗Celebrate Spring with 15 Unconventional Salads (★recipe) 🔥Basic Brine for Your first BBQ (★recipe) 🍞King Arthur Made a Sourdough Starter Machine ☕️Starbucks Just Introduced Free Refills 🚀Elon Musk Gets Ready to Enter the Restaurant Business (and he picked a Chef) 🤖 AI-enhanced 3D printing cooks food with infrared precision

Is the Doggy Bag Dead? 

Alyson Krueger / The New York Times

Restaurateurs in big cities have noticed a somewhat surprising shift in diner behavior.

Skipping Breakfast and Flipping Tables in Lesbian Fiction 

Hannah Levene / Vittles

The riotous history of food in the lesbian feminist publishing movement. Really cool.